Let’s be honest.
You have friends. They’re your buddies now, but who are you going to turn to when you see a zombie heading toward you for that delicious nugget hiding in your skull?
Depends on the friend.
Most people will begin to form “allies” outside of their normal circle of friends when the zombie parties begin to show up. Now the problem lies in who you should pick to stand beside you (or who you should choose to run beside. . . got any slow friends?).
Do you go with the brawn? Should you select the biggest, beefiest brute you find to wield a machete? Or, should you pick the nerds from the library? Those people are clever with the traps and the locations. If it came down to one person you had to pick, whom would you choose?
Let’s explore the pros and cons of brains versus brawn.
Brutes: Pros
• Strength. These folks can wield anything from a machete to a baseball bat. A single football player could probably take out twice as many zombies as you with a chainsaw if given the chance. (See previous article on what weapon your brute should hold). Hand him a pipe. You see a silver object used for your plumbing at home. He sees a deadly weapon that’s perfect for smashing and bashing.
• Blood. There will be blood. There will be gore. Have you ever seen a rugby match? Or even a highly aggressive football game? These guys do not let the sight of blood stop them, and who cares if you break a toe or two? Gotta keep playing the game.
Brains: Pros
• Resources. When brutie up there is hacking away with a baseball bat, who’s going through library files looking for maps and resources? That’s right. The brains. They’ll have already mapped out where you can get weapons, food, shelter and water.
• Communication. When the radios and televisions stop working, everyone sort of shrugs. Meh, radio. When the Internet goes down, the riots begin. With the only knowledge most people have is how to turn a computer on and update their Facebook, there’s not much hope to restore communication . . . unless you have a nerd. Not only have they been taking computers apart since they were five, they have already practiced the art of relaying signals through satellites. Need help? Call on a nerd.
Brutes: Cons
• Food. What might fill your stomach only feels like a snack to them. They’re used to ordering huge hamburgers with eight glasses of powerade to ease them down. When things get scarce, well, have you ever seen a hungry bear? It’s not fun.
• Long distance. These thugs might be able to throw an axe, but then they have no axe. Who’s to help when thousands of zombies are coming from a mile away? Your brute will charge into the middle of the throes and get themselves killed in seconds.
Brains: Cons
• Power. Sure, they can fix your computer if the electricity is still on. But what happens when the power goes out due to a zombie hunger for electricians? Nobody can turn on a computer if the battery is dead and there’s no power. Unless your nerd happens to work out between reruns of Star Trek, then they too are out of luck.
• Speed. Due to long hours of typing code into a computer, the legs of nerds aren’t always as developed as a normal human being’s. As long as you can protect your nerd, you’ll be alright. What happens, however, when the zombies break through your basement? At least you get saved, because the nerd is going down first.
Those are just the basics, but it’s obvious that strategy is a very important part of the selection process. My selection? I’d go with the brute. I’m a nerd myself, but I know that the only thing I know how to do with a chainsaw is stare at it. So, are you an athlete that spends more time working out than reading books? You might be just my type.
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