Website Launch- Huzzah!

http://tabletsix.com/

Website--say wha?

Yes! The time is almost here!


Tablet Six will be transcending into a full-fledged website starting next week! From a blog to a website catered to providing and entertaining the masses, Tablet Six is doing great things!


In the meantime add us on Twitter (tabletsix) and Facebook (also Tablet Six).


Thanks guys,


Stay safe!

666 Event Article: Humanity and Survival

666 Event Article
Written by: Savannah Harrison


Those who had studied the lore of the undead prior to the Gilgamesh Effect were the real wild cards. The conspiracy theorists who truly believed the government was trying to develop a virus that would cause the living to become something much more dangerous; the religious rabble-rousers who used the Bible to spread the fear of the dead walking the earth; and the kids who grew up with videogames, movies and books that offered a variety of zombie tips and tricks to live by were the ones pegged as prepared. Especially the latter group – who thought they were invincible because they knew the basics: aim for the head, don’t get bitten, don’t get separated from the group, avoid strangers, avoid populated areas, don’t die (and, if you have to, do so by your own hand).

But it didn’t always play out that way, because the rules that applied to hypothetical zombie outbreaks pre-G.E. didn’t always apply to the real thing. Furthermore, in some instances, playing by the rules just didn’t matter.

Before zombies bridged the gap between nightmare and reality, I was as obsessed with the subject as any modern day z-head. I owned all the books, watched all Romero’s gruesome movies and played all the games. I jokingly swore that Max Brooks had come from the future to warn us of the inevitable zombie apocalypse with The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z and spent hours ruminating with friends and family about the best way to zombie-proof a house. Once, a near stranger even chose me as the ultimate zombie-fighting weapon.

Point blank: When it happened, I wasn’t ready and I wasn’t a weapon. I was nothing more than a scared child with an imagined edge that didn’t matter in the face of the real thing.  

I survived the war with the undead or, at least, the worst of it – considering the world isn’t wiped completely clean of the threat, none of us are truly survivors just yet. But I didn’t survive it because I’d read The Zombie Survival Guide a thousand and one times or even because I’d come to empathize with the shambling dead through The Zen of Zombie.

I didn’t follow the rules. I didn’t shoot for the head. I didn’t flee to colder, wilder terrain. I didn’t learn to ride a bike. I didn’t burn the stairs. I didn’t board up the house. I didn’t avoid public venues. I didn’t stay calm. I didn’t have a plan. I broke the rules.  I found my mother. I protected my cat. I jeopardized myself for others. I remained human, feeling, sympathetic. And somehow – mostly thanks to luck – me and mine are still alive.

The thing that most zombie fans forgot in poring over their various handbooks is that humanity is the only difference between us and them. We are not calculating, perfect killing machines. Most of us cannot even imagine pointing a gun at the reanimated body of a loved one, friend or even a stranger. Most of us still want to aid the screaming child or the crippled adult. Most of us do not have the thrill of the hunt or even the will to survive engrained deeply enough into us because, before The Gilgamesh Effect, that was not the world we knew.

Here’s what I learned, though, here’s the golden rule that came to me in my darkest zombie days: when facing the supernatural, book smarts and preparedness don’t make you any less human or any less fallible. And, if they did, how would we be any different from our newfound enemy?

666 Event Article: Update on New York

666 Event Article

Written by: Ki Arnould

Hey, all you friends in Alabama! I’m in Syracuse, NY right now, but I was raised in the South and have been dying for updates. It’s been a crazy few years.

Here in central New York, we’re getting the zombie infestation under control. As I’m sure you know, NYC was sealed off from the rest of the state; it turned out that the undead Manhattanites the most vicious, voracious zombies ever encountered. They were next to unkillable. I’m guessing they got it from the cockroaches.

There’s a lot more to the state of New York than that tiny little island, so to be honest, none of us are all that bummed about the loss. The city crowd was mostly bloodthirsty monsters, even before the outbreak.

But in New York State, we’re finding ways to handle the hordes. These zombies sure don’t like the cold! It slows their movements considerably. They’re drawn to heat; out in the rural areas, ambitious hunters have begun lighting giant bonfires that draw the undead, then perch in a treetop and pick them off with high-caliber rounds as they head for the bright, merry flames. At the end of a decent-sized massacre, the snow is dark with ash and peach-colored with aging blood spatters. Disassembled bodies litter the ground like small boulders. They douse the field with flammables and let it burn.

Not everyone feels so comfortable in the country. Too much space, too secluded. So we remain in mid-sized cities, usually the suburbs. Unfortunately, the snow is impossible to manage without using loud vehicles. In order to keep the streets clear, we had no choice but to use plows, which were outfitted with an elaborate web of blades and blunt metal, plus plenty of rations in case their plow was overrun. Luckily, a plow was never overtaken; our paranoia wasn’t necessary.

In fact, it became one of our favorite pastimes, running up to the ledge of our three-story protective wall to watch the snowplow rumble past the building. Frozen bodies of the less-hardy zombies, half-buried in snow, would tumble weirdly before the plow’s massive expanse, legs and arms snapping off like dry twigs. Behind the plow would be a trail of disgruntled, loping zombies, their jaws unhinged in contempt, grabbing madly for the rear of the grumbling plow. They never held on for long; the cold blades, the bumping motion, and their dead weight would soon slice their grips, and that’s assuming that we hadn’t picked them off for target practice. What a magical Christmas memory.

By January, many of the zombies wandering outdoors freeze in the snow. Giant, half-human ice blocks poke out of the snowdrifts, easy pickings for even the youngest kids in our community. On a particularly frozen night, the zombie’s body might even shatter. In fact, I even spotted a pair of hunters tipping a body over the side of a 15-story parking deck. It hit the ground with a sound like cracking rocks. That zombie didn’t so much as twitch.

Now that the snow is melting, it’s not uncommon for a thawing zombie to pop up out of the slush, eager to prey on whatever roused them from their winter slumber. They remind me of bloody daisies, springing to life as the earth begins to thaw. I’ve often imagined the game, “he loves me, he loves me not,” as my crew and I dismember them.

Speaking of crews, I’m proud to say that a few nerds have survived the Gilgamesh Effect’s worst years! Several have begun creating iTunes and smartphone apps to aid in detecting and destroying the undead. For example, I use an app that monitors the sound levels in the area, providing a decibel measurement to make sure you keep it quiet. It also tracks errant sound within a 200-foot radius, which lets you know if your noise hits a dangerous decibel, and the latest updates have even begun to identify between animals, zombies, humans, and the dreaded crawlers. Man, crawlers really are a bitch.

Another app lets your device project a high pulsing noise about 30 feet away from your location; it’s a simple app that provides a short distraction for the undead, giving you a few crucial seconds of escape time. Or you can just use it to piss them off. I think they’re kinda funny when they’re angry.

There’s a few limitations to surviving up north, and some of our information is spotty, so I’ll end by posing a few questions. How do the zombies react to the summer heat down south? Do they seek shelters to avoid the heat? Do they burn in the sun? Are there central locations where people are heading to be together, or are people mostly sticking to the outskirts and living low?

666 Event Article: A Look into the Past

666 Event Article

Written by: Kris Walker

Yuh, I always wanted my fifteen minutes of fame. Problem is, the damn apocalypse didn’t go as planned-- cause it ain’t an apocalypse. Zombies everywhere but most of the world is kicking, which is why I’m still a nobody. For now. Tablet Six is my fifteen minutes, and if I got sumthin’ to say about it, this is gonna be fifteen minutes of forever.

Yuh, I’m with you-- five years ago, I clustered with my little group of nobodies behind the school and bullshitted about death by zombies. Watched the rednecks growling around in their trying-too-hard trucks, told each other-- yuh-- the zombies would catch them asleep in their Duckheads and Dockers. But we’d live, we’d be the freakin’ kings cause we already had it planned.

Problem is, half of us were dead in the first five. No lie. We were at school, man. We didn’t know. One minute we’re talking bones, the next it’s brains and the lunch line started with us. Just lucky I was in AP anatomy with the other pasty-faced nerdlings-- what if it had been gym? With jocks? Toast, man. Chomp chomp, lights out.

I said half, but it was more like half of half-- until they started long division with their teeth. Zombies love math if it involves eating, and this was like fat kids in a snack cake factory. And that ain’t a metaphor, survivor...this was literally a flock of Boomers on the Twinkie farm.

But I’m not a damn twinkie, so I got the heck out. Like I said, I knew it was coming eventually, man-- I knew-- one look at the fatties getting hungry and I jammed a #2 pencil (freshly sharpened, in fact) into the nearest deader’s face and hit the window. Thank God I was right, man. Wouldn’t thatta been a mess. But shoot man, I knew. Like a mullet knows a red neck.

“Damn, shoulda used a stunt double,” cause I still thought this was a movie, reckon, and I guess that was ketchup on my face. Yuh. And cheerleaders have a secret fetish for ketchup-licking, too, which was why they were drooling and running in on my three o’clock. Fast.

The parkour is for the zombie apocalypse, I always told people-- mostly cause I knew as well as they did I looked retarded out there trying to hump my way up a rain gutter. I always think I’m right, but I had no idea I’d be right-- I was just a snot-nosed kid who kept confusing being weird for being clever. So I took a moment for a well I’ll be damned until I realized it didn’t taste like ketchup.

Went zipping through the parking lot in my velcro Converse-- way before they were mainstream-- and put a chain link fence between me and the newly hungry anorexics. And I tell you what...I’ve never said a bad thing about rednecks since. That I meant, anyhow. This was Alabama. Nobody locked their doors and everyone had guns. It’s almost like they were planning for the zombie apocalypse; which kinda pisses me off. I thought I was cool, man.

Feel bad, though, kinda...the truck I went to, man, I won’t lie-- I been back since, and it’s still there. I tell myself he was an offbrand stick of camo jerky in the first five, yuh, the hick equivalent of Jiggles the Chomp Chomp that I vision corrected with the #2...but I don’t know, man. All I know is no way he made it out on foot. No way. So ever since I speak the drawl, ya know, like a little speech pathology memorial.

And the truck was like a gun monkey’s wet dream. Only problem was, there I was, zombies trying to fit through the holes in the chain link fences-- yuh, cheerleaders are bright-- guns everywhere, and I realized that like maybe I should have fired a gun before.

C’mon, you know how it is. Get your 12 nobodies playing hacky sack and planning out their little evac action movies, and you kinda forget that the only person who knows how to shoot is that one fat kid who can’t run, so like that’s his only shot. Plus since Columbine it makes the jocks nervous. Like maybe they’ll make the list. Which they will, let’s face it, but all he’s gonna do is cry on it. And maybe like, ten years down the road, fill his swimming pool with money and think that’ll show ‘em.

Except our firearms expert was already a 12 course meal, and not one of these guns-- not one-- had a left-mouse button.

(to be continued)

         

666 Event Article: Interview with the Secretary of Undead Defense

666 Event Article

Interview by: Scott Walker

Interview with the Secretary of Undead Defense, Samuel Watkins

Samuel Watkins is the first and current Secretary of Undead Defense. His swift actions following the Gilgamesh Effect led to the almost immediate stabilization and prevention of a zombie apocalypse. His group of followers nicknamed “The Unconquerable” helped eliminate the majority of undead in the D.C. area. Following the liberation of the capitol, he was appointed as Secretary of Undead Defense and swiftly brought the United States back to relative normalcy. The following is an edited version of an interview with Samuel Watkins.

I: Welcome, Mr. Secretary, and thank you for seeing us.

S: It’s my pleasure. The Times always speaks so kindly of me.

I: So, we understand you are trying to gather support for government action in other countries. Could you tell us a little more about it?

S: Of course, it may not be common knowledge to the people of the United States, but many other countries did not fare quite as well as we did. I propose government action to send relief to refugees, undead elimination services to those in dire straights, and military intervention to those countries or groups that seek to profit from the suffering of others.

I: What’s the situation like in other countries?

S: A few countries rallied quite spectacularly, others not so well. Africa is in a mess. There are few points of government there. In Asia, China became a zombie deathtrap and it’s government has blockaded itself within the forbidden city. In Europe, the United Kingdom and Ireland were pretty much wiped off the map. Trust me, you don’t want to be trapped on an island with little weapons. The remains of their government are located in Belgium. South America might be the worst off and not from zombies. Various gangs began snatching up land from the government and people and promising them protection. It’s basically a feudal system run by thugs now. It’s not pretty.

I: That sounds terrible. You mentioned that some countries rallied well?

S: The majority of Europe managed only slightly worse than we did. Russia’s doing well but the borders it actually polices has dropped significantly. It’s probably smaller than Texas now. India is doing well despite its split into Northern and Southern parts. The Muslim countries fared quite well in most parts. The country that fared the best though was probably Thailand. They not only rebuffed the undead swiftly but also reached and took over Myanmar, Cambodia, Laos, and the Northern part of Vietnam. They are currently keeping a large number of people safe from the vast horde that lies on the other side of the Chinese border.

I: It’s good to know that other countries are staying strong in these hard times. What would you say is the biggest change in lifestyle since the Gilgamesh Effect?

S: There really hasn’t been a huge difference for most people who survived the initial outbreak unless you’re military. There has been a huge emphasis on physical education in schools conditioning students for running or fighting undead. Paper media was so hindered by the initial outbreak that it ceased almost immediately, but all the Gilgamesh Effect did was hasten it as, in my opinion, it was already on its way out. The digital community changed the least to me. Spend a few hours on the Internet and you might believe that Stephenie Meyer wrote a zombie book instead of the “zombie apocalypse.”

I: I understand that you’re just finishing up your Undead Prevention and Elimination Campaign (UPEC.) Has the campaign been as successful as you’d hoped?

S: I, and the government at large, view the campaign as a huge success. We’ve managed to eliminate and/or suppress the majority of the undead in the United States, we’ve made all major cities livable, and we’ve created available media with protection and prevention guidelines for our citizens.

I: What was the greatest asset you had for making the cities habitable? Surely the undead were quite numerous.

S: Ironically enough, parkour.

I: Parkour? Can you explain that?

S: Well, we did the normal things like setting up defensible outposts for refugees and quarantining off those we suspected were infected, but each and every one of our raiding parties had to be proficient in parkour and bladed combat. It allowed them to escape and kill undead silently which helps prevent other undead from getting involved. It also helped give them high ground advantage to take out undead as they tried to jump up, and if worst came to worst, it helped them get back to one of our outposts where a swarm of undead could be handled. We affectionately nicknamed them “ninjas.”

I: That definitely seems like an unconventional method.

S: Well, these are unconventional times.

I: I think we can all agree to that. Last question, Mr. Secretary, your brother has just been nominated to run as Vice President for the Democratic candidate. Do you feel your involvement in curbing the Gilgamesh Effect has helped bring him to that position?

S:I wouldn’t know, but I will say this. My brother is an intelligent, hard-working, and moral individual and I know that in these tough times you’ll need all three. So if my position in helping secure the US allowed people to notice my brother, then you’re all better off I promise you.

I: I’m sure we will be with men like you and your brother to lead us. That is all the time we have and thank you for speaking with us. Any last words?

S: Thank you and remember, “If you see undead, aim for the head!”

**Tablet Six note: More with the Secretary of Undead Defense, will be available at a later date.**

666 Event Article: Zombies + Water

666 Event Article

Written by: Greg Simmons

Ahh, the wonderful world of zombies is well upon us and many people have yet to realize some of the finer details about humanity’s common enemy. Ignorance. I bet you were thinking zombies right? Well yes, those buggers are pretty bad as well, but our lack of knowledge about them is far worse.

There is one detail that I have yet to see anyone discuss on the net so I have taken it upon myself to handle the burden. Being the only survivor for one of the incidences I assure that I am fully qualified to touch on this matter.

Zombies and water. What is the connection between the two?  I’m sure most of you have seen zombies wandering around a small pond but never swimming across it. 

Well, zombies cannot swim. 

However, they can walk… and I’m not talking walking on water but underneath it. Go ahead, laugh if you must. But I am a living fact that it is true!

When the Gilgamesh Effect day one hit off, everyone started to panic (“Flesh eaters on the loose! Run!”) only a few managed to hold off the hordes of the once-dead beings. Some of the only places on the planet that staved off the infected were some of the smaller secluded islands. I’m talking about those small islands in the Pacific, like Guam, Marshall Islands and even some of the French Polynesia, not those big freaking tanker sized ones like Cuba and New Zealand.

These islands were small and easy to control what was coming onto the island, and since everyone thought zombies couldn’t swim anyone was in too much of a worry. Out there on the island it was almost like everything was back to normal.

Then one day you wake up to find everyone running around, shooting wildly at everything that moved. Everyone screaming franticly like a broken siren. Inhaling smoke from the surrounding building trying not to cry while keeping your head clear of panic so you can think of what do and then holding your sister’s hand trying to get both of you off this hell island alive…

Once again, zombies can walk underwater, I’m not sure how or why, but they can. It was almost intelligent how they did it really. I went from island to island after my escape heading west towards New Zealand, Australia or whatever large landmass with lots of running room I landed on first. However, the zombies were a step ahead of me each time. It reminded me of something I heard in history class as a boy listening to my teacher lecturing about WWII and a strategy called “island hoping.”

Anyhow, I finally managed to land on Australia.

I end this net addition by once again telling you that- yes, zombies can walk underwater. I have seen them rise out of the bluish green water myself. Watched them devour countless people trapped on a small amount of land with no running room. So stay away from water! It’s not the sanctuary you believe and always give yourself plenty of running room.