666 Event Article: Interview with the Secretary of Undead Defense

666 Event Article

Interview by: Scott Walker

Interview with the Secretary of Undead Defense, Samuel Watkins

Samuel Watkins is the first and current Secretary of Undead Defense. His swift actions following the Gilgamesh Effect led to the almost immediate stabilization and prevention of a zombie apocalypse. His group of followers nicknamed “The Unconquerable” helped eliminate the majority of undead in the D.C. area. Following the liberation of the capitol, he was appointed as Secretary of Undead Defense and swiftly brought the United States back to relative normalcy. The following is an edited version of an interview with Samuel Watkins.

I: Welcome, Mr. Secretary, and thank you for seeing us.

S: It’s my pleasure. The Times always speaks so kindly of me.

I: So, we understand you are trying to gather support for government action in other countries. Could you tell us a little more about it?

S: Of course, it may not be common knowledge to the people of the United States, but many other countries did not fare quite as well as we did. I propose government action to send relief to refugees, undead elimination services to those in dire straights, and military intervention to those countries or groups that seek to profit from the suffering of others.

I: What’s the situation like in other countries?

S: A few countries rallied quite spectacularly, others not so well. Africa is in a mess. There are few points of government there. In Asia, China became a zombie deathtrap and it’s government has blockaded itself within the forbidden city. In Europe, the United Kingdom and Ireland were pretty much wiped off the map. Trust me, you don’t want to be trapped on an island with little weapons. The remains of their government are located in Belgium. South America might be the worst off and not from zombies. Various gangs began snatching up land from the government and people and promising them protection. It’s basically a feudal system run by thugs now. It’s not pretty.

I: That sounds terrible. You mentioned that some countries rallied well?

S: The majority of Europe managed only slightly worse than we did. Russia’s doing well but the borders it actually polices has dropped significantly. It’s probably smaller than Texas now. India is doing well despite its split into Northern and Southern parts. The Muslim countries fared quite well in most parts. The country that fared the best though was probably Thailand. They not only rebuffed the undead swiftly but also reached and took over Myanmar, Cambodia, Laos, and the Northern part of Vietnam. They are currently keeping a large number of people safe from the vast horde that lies on the other side of the Chinese border.

I: It’s good to know that other countries are staying strong in these hard times. What would you say is the biggest change in lifestyle since the Gilgamesh Effect?

S: There really hasn’t been a huge difference for most people who survived the initial outbreak unless you’re military. There has been a huge emphasis on physical education in schools conditioning students for running or fighting undead. Paper media was so hindered by the initial outbreak that it ceased almost immediately, but all the Gilgamesh Effect did was hasten it as, in my opinion, it was already on its way out. The digital community changed the least to me. Spend a few hours on the Internet and you might believe that Stephenie Meyer wrote a zombie book instead of the “zombie apocalypse.”

I: I understand that you’re just finishing up your Undead Prevention and Elimination Campaign (UPEC.) Has the campaign been as successful as you’d hoped?

S: I, and the government at large, view the campaign as a huge success. We’ve managed to eliminate and/or suppress the majority of the undead in the United States, we’ve made all major cities livable, and we’ve created available media with protection and prevention guidelines for our citizens.

I: What was the greatest asset you had for making the cities habitable? Surely the undead were quite numerous.

S: Ironically enough, parkour.

I: Parkour? Can you explain that?

S: Well, we did the normal things like setting up defensible outposts for refugees and quarantining off those we suspected were infected, but each and every one of our raiding parties had to be proficient in parkour and bladed combat. It allowed them to escape and kill undead silently which helps prevent other undead from getting involved. It also helped give them high ground advantage to take out undead as they tried to jump up, and if worst came to worst, it helped them get back to one of our outposts where a swarm of undead could be handled. We affectionately nicknamed them “ninjas.”

I: That definitely seems like an unconventional method.

S: Well, these are unconventional times.

I: I think we can all agree to that. Last question, Mr. Secretary, your brother has just been nominated to run as Vice President for the Democratic candidate. Do you feel your involvement in curbing the Gilgamesh Effect has helped bring him to that position?

S:I wouldn’t know, but I will say this. My brother is an intelligent, hard-working, and moral individual and I know that in these tough times you’ll need all three. So if my position in helping secure the US allowed people to notice my brother, then you’re all better off I promise you.

I: I’m sure we will be with men like you and your brother to lead us. That is all the time we have and thank you for speaking with us. Any last words?

S: Thank you and remember, “If you see undead, aim for the head!”

**Tablet Six note: More with the Secretary of Undead Defense, will be available at a later date.**